My daughter has just turned 5.
Where I come from, that is a milestone age where, amongst other things, you get to start school on your actual birthday (unless it is school holidays). Where I live now, it is not quite as big a deal, but the old ways are to let go of.
Up until now, my daughter's birthday parties have been family affairs with very few children (will give a dissertation on large age and geographic locale gaps between cousins some other time). We usually have a surfeit of food (because I can't resist) and more often than not the cakes have been a little over the top. But, I don't tend to decorate the house and in my mind they are fairly boring parties for a kid.
So, this year was to be the big whammy! A full-on birthday party with a truck load of kids, party games, props and everything. This was going to be the party to put us in debt for years to come. Seeing as DD had requested a Snow White cake, an Enchanted Woodland theme was decided on (by me, of course). And then I gave Pinterest and Google a workout.....
The decorations were going to be amazing, the games were going to ensure that at least 3 kids burst into tears for one reason or another. There was going to be bouncing and running, music and dressups, themed food and photo opportunities. I was even going to hire tables and stools to really set the scene. Then I spent hours creating the invitation.
But then it happened.....
A month out from the party (yes, a full month - I see the problem with this now), my daughter and her brother decided to engage in some monkey business that resulted in a whole tub of rice being spread between 3 rooms. Now the rice wasn't the problem, it was the subsequent behaviour. When she was asked to stop and clean up, she refused to acknowledge the request let alone anything else. After several attempts and the requests turning into orders, she actually engaged in worse behaviour. So that is when the threat of cancelling her birthday party came up. Her behaviour got worse so I had to follow through.
NO PARTY!
Now, I think I was more upset by that than her and the guilts kicked in a bit. A couple of weeks passed and I made sure she remembered she was not having a party. She did ask for me to make new invitations at some point, but I would not be moved. Finally, as a reward for some good behaviour, I decided that on the day of her birthday she could have a small afternoon tea with 3 friends from pre-school. In my mind this wasn't a party - there would be no hoards of kids, games, exciting birthday cakes or excessive party food. There would simply be one or two snacks and some cupcakes.
Fast forward to the day...
The celebration food consisted of some fruit kebabs, a bowl of pretzels, some cupcakes and some cordial. As DD had been so vocal in her request for a Snow White cake, I made absolutely certain she couldn't say that's what she got, so I added some edible dinosaur images to the cupcakes. The kids came. They proffered gifts, played rowdy games of their own devise, ate their snacks, sang Happy Birthday and left within a couple of hours. Cheap, simple, understated, nice.... but feeling oddly party like to me (despite all my attempts).
Before she went to bed DD said she had had the best birthday ever. The next morning, upon quizzing her about the dinosur cupcakes, she told me that they were even better than Snow White!
Lesson to Me...
My daughter is still a small child. She has delightfully simple expectations that I complicate in my quest to be a "good parent".
So, in the end, the punishment didn't really exist. Will work on that next time the moment calls for it. As for that much anticipated debt... not to worry. Our little dog decided he would help out with that instead. Veterinarian bills - blerghhh!
Up until now, my daughter's birthday parties have been family affairs with very few children (will give a dissertation on large age and geographic locale gaps between cousins some other time). We usually have a surfeit of food (because I can't resist) and more often than not the cakes have been a little over the top. But, I don't tend to decorate the house and in my mind they are fairly boring parties for a kid.
 |
| Cakes of Birthdays Past |
The decorations were going to be amazing, the games were going to ensure that at least 3 kids burst into tears for one reason or another. There was going to be bouncing and running, music and dressups, themed food and photo opportunities. I was even going to hire tables and stools to really set the scene. Then I spent hours creating the invitation.
 |
| The Invitation - so close yet so far... |
But then it happened.....
A month out from the party (yes, a full month - I see the problem with this now), my daughter and her brother decided to engage in some monkey business that resulted in a whole tub of rice being spread between 3 rooms. Now the rice wasn't the problem, it was the subsequent behaviour. When she was asked to stop and clean up, she refused to acknowledge the request let alone anything else. After several attempts and the requests turning into orders, she actually engaged in worse behaviour. So that is when the threat of cancelling her birthday party came up. Her behaviour got worse so I had to follow through.
NO PARTY!
Now, I think I was more upset by that than her and the guilts kicked in a bit. A couple of weeks passed and I made sure she remembered she was not having a party. She did ask for me to make new invitations at some point, but I would not be moved. Finally, as a reward for some good behaviour, I decided that on the day of her birthday she could have a small afternoon tea with 3 friends from pre-school. In my mind this wasn't a party - there would be no hoards of kids, games, exciting birthday cakes or excessive party food. There would simply be one or two snacks and some cupcakes.
Fast forward to the day...
The celebration food consisted of some fruit kebabs, a bowl of pretzels, some cupcakes and some cordial. As DD had been so vocal in her request for a Snow White cake, I made absolutely certain she couldn't say that's what she got, so I added some edible dinosaur images to the cupcakes. The kids came. They proffered gifts, played rowdy games of their own devise, ate their snacks, sang Happy Birthday and left within a couple of hours. Cheap, simple, understated, nice.... but feeling oddly party like to me (despite all my attempts).
 |
| DD and her Dino-Cupcakes |
Before she went to bed DD said she had had the best birthday ever. The next morning, upon quizzing her about the dinosur cupcakes, she told me that they were even better than Snow White!
Lesson to Me...
My daughter is still a small child. She has delightfully simple expectations that I complicate in my quest to be a "good parent".
So, in the end, the punishment didn't really exist. Will work on that next time the moment calls for it. As for that much anticipated debt... not to worry. Our little dog decided he would help out with that instead. Veterinarian bills - blerghhh!
 |
| What happens when you get into a bigger dog's territory |
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